Table Talk

27 April 2006
Table Talk

Bed tacks? No, we always use screws
Some in the hotel industry are clearly still getting to grips with the finer points of bed tax. During a recent ring round, Caterer asked a number of hotel groups for their opinions on the proposal to slap a levy on room rates. Budget orange player EasyGroup was asked if it wanted to chip in. After pondering the query for an hour, the reply came via Blackberry: "Hi. Please explain bed tax to us all."

Not forgetting the haggis-bashers and bogtrotters The David Brent award for well-meaning but clumsy work in the field of racial harmony must surely go to Malcolm Weaving, owner of the Rendezvous hotel in Skipton, North Yorkshire. Determined not to appear exclusive on St George's Day, he laid on halal beef so Muslims could tuck into England's national dish - because "actions speak louder than words." The reason? According to Weaving it's because the English are not as patriotic as "our leek-waving Welsh neighbours". And after that pop at Wales, what better way to make non-English guests feel comfortable than a "proms-style singalong"? "I hope we'll all be singing from the same hymn sheet - literally," said Weaving. Brent would've been proud.

Sorry jamie, tart's off A recent message on Jamie Oliver's website suggests some dinner ladies are trying to lure him to their schools for less than wholesome reasons. "I am a dinner lady employed by Liverpool City Council," began one. "Not my ideal job but someone has to feed the little buggers." Ah, bless. "I challenge you to come to my school. It has the fussiest kids I've ever met," continued the disgruntled caterer. Her true intentions are perhaps revealed at the end of her post. "You can get back to me any time. Annie Baby xxxxxxxxxx"

He who hesitates… or is it look before you leap? It seems BHA top dog Bob Cotton can't decide which side of the bird flu debate he's on. At a seminar organised by business consultancy Vantis last month, Cotton urged restaurateurs to act now to avoid a problem that was only "weeks away". He warned that operators must start thinking of alternatives in preparation for the time when diners started turning their noses up at fowl. And last week? "It's very important for us to keep perspective on the issue and not let uninformed scare stories generate inaccurate information," he warned.

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