Table Talk

PR firms are souls of discretion
Old-school London hotel the Goring prides itself on its "tomb-like discretion". According to the five-star property, that's why it has "endeared itself to the Royal family so much". Hang on, was that an indiscreet name-drop?

In fact, so keen was the hotel to shout about its tact last week that it issued a press release about the "discreet civil partnership" of Boyzone's Stephen Gately - whom it labelled "brave and beautiful". "The iced wedding cake bore two small marzipan figures of the boys with their pet chitzu dog Bently gazing at them adoringly," cooed the hotel. Surely a case for more discretion, less toe-curling detail?

Champ goes One round too many Lounge 10 restaurant in Manchester city centre had to be on its toes last week. Ear-biting boxer Mike Tyson was in town to referee a cage-fighting bout and popped in for dinner. And what better way to set yourself up for a spot of cage-fighting than seared scallops with spicy vermicelli at £10.50 a pop?

So yummy did Tyson find his starter that he ordered another. Then a main course of fillet steak and then, er, another starter (this time confit duck spring rolls). Sadly, by the time head chef Marcus Humphry had rustled up course number five - ice-cream - the tattooed pugilist had left. Clearly Iron Mike doesn't have an iron stomach.

School meals crusader meets his match Jamie Oliver still can't decide whether he's a school meals champion or media marvel. Speaking at a school meals conference in London recently, the chirpy chef was silenced by a dinner lady from Hackney who vociferously slated her borough's school meals service. "I've got a big mouth like you," she informed Oliver, at which some audience members nodded in agreement.

It was all eagerly captured on film by the makers of Oliver's new school meals TV show. When the colourful rant was over, cheeky chappy Jamie said: "That's the Bafta in the bag then."